Whether we are aware of it or not, we all have deep rooted fears that guide our lives: how we interact with others, the choices we make, and the way we live our lives. Often, these fears operate at the subconscious level. We don’t even realize how much they impact our day-to-day living.
Some people are afraid of being alone or of dying. Others of being hurt emotionally or not feeling safe or secure. And others of not belonging or being loved. These deep fears usually align with our basic needs we have as human beings.
I was talking with a new friend of mine, and he asked me a question that got right to the core of my personal fear. It was one of those questions that makes everything stop. In that moment, my mind stopped thinking and the truth of his question and my resulting answer bubbled up in my heart.
I had a flash of clarity. I was able to see how this fear, which I had been somewhat aware of, had impacted so many decisions in my life. I saw how it colored my relationships and interactions with people, especially those closest to me. And I saw how different my life could be if I didn’t act from this place of fear.
I realized that I was faced with a choice. I could face my fear head on, and work to eliminate (or at least minimize) its hold on my life, or I could ignore this insight and continue living the way I had been. I took a deep breath and chose to face it head on immediately so that I could live my life fully, and from the heart.
There have only been a few moments in my life that have caused me to stop and reassess my life and how I was living it. Thank you, new friend, for a well-timed, deeply insightful question that will have a profound and lasting influence on my life. I am grateful for the wisdom you brought to me.
What fear is holding you back from living your life fully? How are you going to conquer it?
4 Comments
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I am wrestling with this! Your words are so timely. Plus, I am at the age where I start to wonder, how would my life have been if I hadn’t been afraid to let people down/be myself/worry about what family thought.
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Author
I hear you! This is the way that I look at it: we each make the best decision we can with the information and insight that we have at that time. And yes, our lives could have been completely different if we knew something, say, 10 years ago, instead of now. The great news for you is that you have this insight NOW. The rest of your life is ahead of you 🙂 So, what are you going to do with this self-knowledge going forward?
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I am going to start by checking in with myself before committing to things I may or may not want to do, and not feel guilty about taking this time.
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Great idea – love it!
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