I’ve been in San Francisco for a week now and I am thoroughly enjoying being here!
The weather has been sunny and comfortable and I am reconnecting with many of my friends. It’s been one of those fun, crazy kind of weeks filled with lots of laughter, food, story-telling and catching up. My heart has been expanding with each minute, and I know that San Francisco will need to be part of my life going forward.
Yesterday I realized that I have far more freedom and flexibility than I had been aware of. I also realized that I need to continue to break down some limiting beliefs that I’ve been holding on to. These beliefs are ones that keep me confined in a life that doesn’t serve me…and actually prevent me from living fully.
The limiting belief that came up for me was around living in San Francisco. While I haven’t fully figured out how I am going to split my time between Guatemala and San Francisco, I had been thinking that I needed to find an apartment or home to live in here for when I am here. In my mind, I envisioned having to pay a full year of rent up front since I don’t have a “traditional” job with a regular weekly paycheck. With the way San Francisco rents are, that would be a significant amount of money!
As I was talking with a friend about this, it suddenly dawned on me that I have so many different options than the standard one of renting a place. What’s to say that I couldn’t just rent a room – either from a friend or someone else? Or, I could find some short-term consulting work here that would include lodging. Or, I could make Guatemala my primary location and plan to spend one week a month in San Francisco and rent a hotel room. Or, or, or…there are so many more options when I release the one way that I had been living.
I don’t have the answer yet, but I’m being open to many different ways of living. I can’t wait to see what manifests in this area!
I’m also noticing that my perspective has changed. I am not getting caught up in the craziness of the city nor am I losing the calm, centered peacefulness that came from my time in the jungle. My friends have remarked on the difference in me. I think this is almost acting like a beacon to other people, since I have had many more people strike up conversations with me than usual.
Today, as I was walking up Van Ness to the bank, I had a very unique experience that hammered home this point for me. A man stopped me to ask me directions. He was a very large colorful man, wearing a bright orange sundress and accessorizing with a pink handbag, blond wig and boots. He had a wheelie suitcase and was looking for his hotel. This, in itself, is not that unusual in San Francisco. What was unusual is that he was carrying on an ongoing conversation with someone that wasn’t there. I don’t know if it was an imaginary friend or a second personality or a spirit guide or someone else, but as I gave him directions, he had a very animated conversation with this other being. They were debating about whether to walk or take a cab, and apparently there was some concern about whether they could trust the directions I was giving them. Eventually, they both came to the conclusion that I was a good, trustworthy person and thanked me for the directions.
As we talked, I watched other people giving this man a wide berth and avoiding eye contact with him. They were obviously very nervous around him. I didn’t sense anything to fear and treated him like I would anyone else. I think it was my calm, love-based centeredness that allowed the three of us to have a conversation where everyone was honored.
I have one more week here in San Francisco and then head over to Asia. It will be interesting to see what arises next week!